Tuesday, January 17, 2012

S*** Derby Girls (and Guys) Say

Yes, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but to be fair, we derby folk say a lot of interesting things that the outside world wouldn't understand.  Most of the following comes from years and years of watching Facebook posts!

#1  I can't, I have derby! Ok, who hasn't said this?  Hands up!  Liars!  Every derby person in the world has derby obligations almost on a daily basis. I tweeted a couple of weeks ago about buying a calendar for 2012, and wondering what the point was because all I was going to do was write "derby" all over it.

#2  Wanna see my bruises/blister/injury?  Maybe this should be the new pick up line in the derby community, but most derby peeps will drop trou just to show you the nastiest bruise on their butts.  I guess it works out for the voyeur if they're into that!

#3 I'm happy I pooped today! I Remember the blog I wrote about pooping and derby girls?  Enough said.

#4  Do these shorts give me camel toe?  This one isn't for the boys so much, but it's a real concern for the girls.  Also, we worry about holes in bad places.

#5 There's no "sorry" in derby.  No, but there's plenty of crying.

#6  I have a butt now!  Derby is awesome for building up that gluteus maximus, and we are very proud of it when it happens!

#7  We are so going to win the after party!  Please concentrate on the game first ladies and gents.

#8  Have to get my boutfit together.  Yes, even though this is a tough and real sport, we like to look good playing it.

#9  I really need to hit someone!  I usually hear this after a derby break or a really bad day at work.

#10 That ref is picking on me!  Suuuuuuuure it's JUST YOU!  That ref singled you out just because he didn't like your boutfit!

#11 Nice hit!  I think we all say this to cope with the fact that we just had our clocks cleaned.

#12  I need my good socks!  See my blog on pretty feet!

#13  I need to skate!  Skating is addictive!  The rush of the speed and the wind in your face is probably more addictive than crack.

#14  I have a new derby crush!  Derby crushes are usually on the skater that inspires us to push ourselves.

#15  Smell my pads!  They totally reek!  Lord.  I don't know what it is about derby girls, but we tend to relish our stench; sometimes we forget that "normal" people don't want to smell us or our stank asses.

#16  It's roller derby, not (fill in the blank)  I love to say "it's roller derby, not cancer"  It's still a game people, the greatest game in the world, but a game!  Other people use this in statements like "It's roller derby, not a tea party."  Either way it's apropos and popular.

#17  I love smackin' ass!  Truer words never spoken.

#18  I'm not gay, but....  Some of these skaters we admire make our hearts go pitter pat, no matter how straight we are,

#19  Shut up and skate!  This is how I was trained to play derby: Stop whining and skate!

#20  I'm hungry/thirsty/tired.  Most conversations at practice revolve around these sentences.

#21  I'm too old for this shit.  Is this just me?  Moving on then.

#22  I'm gonna puke.  I hear this at least once a practice.

#23  I like it in the box.  This is one of the two jokes that refs have and share with us.  The other one is "My pack(age) is here."

#24  Skate rape!  Do I have to explain this one?  Ok, when you fall on your skate or someone else's, and a wheel violates your nether region.

#25  Strategery!  My favorite!


  1. I've heard every one of those. usually once a practice.

  2. Skate Rape....or as LCHR likes to call it: The 'Giner Shiner :)

  3. My league has "Wheels n stuff", said whenever there's an awkward silence or argument.