Yes, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but to be fair, we derby folk say a lot of interesting things that the outside world wouldn't understand. Most of the following comes from years and years of watching Facebook posts!
#1 I can't, I have derby! Ok, who hasn't said this? Hands up! Liars! Every derby person in the world has derby obligations almost on a daily basis. I tweeted a couple of weeks ago about buying a calendar for 2012, and wondering what the point was because all I was going to do was write "derby" all over it.
#2 Wanna see my bruises/blister/injury? Maybe this should be the new pick up line in the derby community, but most derby peeps will drop trou just to show you the nastiest bruise on their butts. I guess it works out for the voyeur if they're into that!
#3 I'm happy I pooped today! I Remember the blog I wrote about pooping and derby girls? Enough said.
#4 Do these shorts give me camel toe? This one isn't for the boys so much, but it's a real concern for the girls. Also, we worry about holes in bad places.
#5 There's no "sorry" in derby. No, but there's plenty of crying.
#6 I have a butt now! Derby is awesome for building up that gluteus maximus, and we are very proud of it when it happens!
#7 We are so going to win the after party! Please concentrate on the game first ladies and gents.
#8 Have to get my boutfit together. Yes, even though this is a tough and real sport, we like to look good playing it.
#9 I really need to hit someone! I usually hear this after a derby break or a really bad day at work.
#10 That ref is picking on me! Suuuuuuuure it's JUST YOU! That ref singled you out just because he didn't like your boutfit!
#11 Nice hit! I think we all say this to cope with the fact that we just had our clocks cleaned.
#12 I need my good socks! See my blog on pretty feet!
#13 I need to skate! Skating is addictive! The rush of the speed and the wind in your face is probably more addictive than crack.
#14 I have a new derby crush! Derby crushes are usually on the skater that inspires us to push ourselves.
#15 Smell my pads! They totally reek! Lord. I don't know what it is about derby girls, but we tend to relish our stench; sometimes we forget that "normal" people don't want to smell us or our stank asses.
#16 It's roller derby, not (fill in the blank) I love to say "it's roller derby, not cancer" It's still a game people, the greatest game in the world, but a game! Other people use this in statements like "It's roller derby, not a tea party." Either way it's apropos and popular.
#17 I love smackin' ass! Truer words never spoken.
#18 I'm not gay, but.... Some of these skaters we admire make our hearts go pitter pat, no matter how straight we are,
#19 Shut up and skate! This is how I was trained to play derby: Stop whining and skate!
#20 I'm hungry/thirsty/tired. Most conversations at practice revolve around these sentences.
#21 I'm too old for this shit. Is this just me? Moving on then.
#22 I'm gonna puke. I hear this at least once a practice.
#23 I like it in the box. This is one of the two jokes that refs have and share with us. The other one is "My pack(age) is here."
#24 Skate rape! Do I have to explain this one? Ok, when you fall on your skate or someone else's, and a wheel violates your nether region.
#25 Strategery! My favorite!