|Costume found here|
So let's tackle Halloween first. Take exhibit A standing over there to the right. This is one version of a "sexy roller derby girl" costume. Is it wildly ridiculous? Yep, and I know you're wondering if the skates come with the costume; they do not. I'm not really sure what the heck is on her head either; is it a panty? Is it a pretend helmet? Did she steal her grandma's underwear and decide to make it into a hat? I really don't know, but it is funny. Am I offended? No. All professions seem to be victims of the whole "Sexy fill in the blank costume" syndrome, so I'm kind of oddly ok with this dumb outfit. Does she look like a derby girl? Absolutely not, but does the sexy nurse look like a nurse? I feel like she should be "sexy Xanadu movie extra," and if you don't know what Xanadu is and you roller skate, shame on you.
I also looked at the site "How to Dress Like Roller Derby Girl for Halloween" found here. I don't think I've chuckled that much in a while at lines like 'most skaters like to wear fishnets' or in the tips section where the authors recommend 'add temporary tattoos to your costume to look tougher.' The article gives some seriously bad advice about fashion, but more importantly about safety gear. 'Purchase new or USED pads and a helmet...' Uh, please don't purchase a used helmet ever, even if you are a fake roller girl. At least they remind people not to drink while on skates! Hooray for safety! I know it is easy to take pot shots at these sites, but part of the article does recommend that if after Halloween, the costumee wants to try out for derby, then they should buy the correct skates. I guess Halloween could be considered a gateway activity for roller derby.
|Is it worth 80 bucks? Um, yes!|
Sweet! They have roller derby RINKS now? Hot damn!
I know, I know. She's wearing a pivot and a jammer combo panty, and most female deer don't have antlers, as one of my astute league members pointed out, but I don't care. I want this thing in my front yard! I live in a neighborhood where ever house has these ugly blow up decorations in the front yard, and I want to DOMINATE over all of them with this derby deer. Is it wrong of me to want to put it on wheels and drive it around the neighborhood? Is it bad that I want to get five of them and decorate my front yard with a derby pack of these pivot/jammer deer? Probably, but I've been sucked in by the fact that finally our sport has a tacky representation that I can challenge my neighbors with. PROGRESS!