Sunday, September 13, 2015

Things that will probably annoy you in derby

No matter how much you love this sport, it can be super freakin' annoying for just about everyone involved. Sometimes derby can be so annoying that you just want to hang up your skates and walk away, but let me tell you, it will even out and be less annoying if you give it some time. Annoyances in derby come in cycles, and depending on how vulnerable you are at the time, you might blow up at the smallest of them, or they actually grow into being a serious issue.
Stop the Butthurt. Photo by A Boy Named Tsunami

1. Talented skaters who really suck at being teammates. Talented skaters are great! Talented skaters who don't know how to work with other people are the devil. Sometimes they can be taught to get along with a team, but some people will never learn to play nicely with others. Ego, lack of work ethic and inability to be trainable are all reasons why they can be annoying and then some! If you're one of these skaters, reevaluate your reasons for being in a team sport!

2. Communication break downs, especially if it's usually one person who seems to have that issue. We're all special special snowflakes, but some people are more snowflakier than most. Communication is usually the cause and the solution for most of a league's issues, but every league has that one skater who either doesn't read emails, or reads them incorrectly and gets butthurt when no butthurt is required or implied. (Also, please please please never reply to ALL!)

3. Gear that doesn't last or doesn't stay put. This one has been annoying me lately because velcro is the suckiest thing on earth to fasten protective gear to our bodies. IT NEVER STAYS PUT! I don't know one skater who isn't constantly fiddling with her gear because something is slipping or catching on something else. I don't have an answer (and don't say prodesign because it has velcro too and people fiddle with them as well) but maybe one day some awesome industrial designer will take up our cause and come up with awesome protective gear. (please)

4. People who deliberately don't clean their gear. I call it smelly kid syndrome. We all sweat and sometimes we forget to air out our gear properly, but there is always that one skater who brags about keeping his or her gear in the back of the car, tightly sealed up in the gear bag....during the summer. Clean your damned gear! Do it for your team!

5. Teammates who don't have the same level of commitment that you do. You could be uber competitive and some of your teammates aren't, or you're not as competitive and you're tired of the ones who are. Being on either side of this issue is annoying as hell and can destroy leagues if you can't reach a middle ground.

6. Skaters who complain about other skater's behaviors while behaving in the same exact manner. I know it's human nature to be a hypocrite, but I cannot tell you how many times I've run into this with derby folk. One person will complain about another person's penalties on the track WHILE COMMITTING THE SAME DAMNED PENALTY! It's funny in an annoying way, but it happens so often. People complain about someone else while behaving in the same way happens in human society in general, but damn, you have higher hopes for your teammates.

Hopefully your tolerance for annoyance is high at this moment!