Monday, February 18, 2013

What you wear, under there.

Ok ladies, a while ago I asked a delicate or indelicate question on Facebook about what kind of underwear people wear when they play roller derby.  It really was one of the funniest threads I've seen on Facebook. Titillating?  Perhaps.  Informative?  Definitely!

I guess my line of questioning started when a few of my teammates talked about wearing thongs during practice.  I couldn't fathom it because I feel like thongs are the most uncomfortable pieces of "clothing" ever designed for women.  I know a lot of women prefer to wear a thong; my friend Beth Row swears by them, and so do many other people on my league.  "Oh Q, you get used to having this swatch of annoying material crammed in your butt!"  Liars.  I went and tried to exercise with a recently purchased thong after this conversation, and let me tell you, I could not, would not get used to a thong.  No whale tails for this gal.
Them some big undies!  Image found here.
 So what do people like to wear while they're playing derby?  People have different preferences, and no answer is the "right" one for everyone, but here are the few options with pros and cons for each choice.

1.  Boy Shorts.  Boy shorts are comfy in general, but good luck trying to wear them under compression pants. I personally feel like the more material you put on your body, the more you will sweat and possibly overheat.  Boy shorts can bunch up at the worst time, but they are comfortable.  Plus, you will never have an accidental full moon happen with boy shorts.

2.  Regular panties.  Cotton, nylon, whatever!  They provide good coverage without any frills, but can get bunched up too.  Also, if you don't wear the "disappearing" kind, then you might have VPL happening under your pants.  Since derby is so butt-focused, regular panties might cause you to have some lines where you don't want them!  If this doesn't bother you, then don't worry about it, but I'll admit that I cringe when I see pictures of myself with panty lines. 

3.  Pantyhose.  Some derby skaters skate in pantyhose; they protect you from rink rash, and if you wear them high enough on your body, you can successfully hide muffin tops.  My problem with pantyhose is that they are hot as hell, and I hate skating with any kind of socks on other than my miracle wool socks.  Nylons have feet built in and don't work well if you cut them off. 

4.  Thongs, G-strings and other torture devices.  Thongs give you no panty lines, but unless you develop a callous in your nether regions, they can really get on your nerves.  (I kid....sort of)  Also, if you're wearing tight compression pants, avoid any lace on your thongs, or you ruin the illusion.

5.  Commando. Ah, freedom!  Of course, when you go commando, you are taking on certain inherent risks that someone could pants you on the track and you could shock your audience.  The bonus is you literally have no panty lines...ever. 

No matter what kind of underwear you decide to use, be careful.  If you are wearing black pants, do a visual inspection!  Some black pants seem like they are opaque, until a flash of a photographer hits them just right.  Also, health experts suggest you change your underwear after sweating in it to cut down on possible yeast infections.  Gross but true!  You can read all about underwear and health at this site. Enjoy!


  1. I wear G-strings, been wearing them as my daily underwear choice for years. The important thing about them in my experience is that you have to buy them a size larger than what you wear in regular underwear because they will be extremely uncomfortable if they are too small. I can't with commando, though, more power to the ladies that can do that!

  2. for our season opener bout, my captain's rules for the night were 1) have fun, and 2) wear panties. we lost. from here on out, panties are completely optional!

  3. We had this discussion on FB last year, too. One girl swore by going commando. I just couldn't fathom the draft that would go up my vagina while plow stopping. I have yet to be let down by cotton Hello Kitty panties from a walmart three-pack.

  4. Spanx makes a footless hose that is magical, although I've never tried to skate in them. And can you tell more about your amazing wool socks?

    1. I don't know if it's called miracle wool might be Smart Wool. I love them. They keep my feet dry and keep my skates from getting disgusting. No blisters either!