1. STOP LOSING YOUR WHEELS! Damn, people, why aren't you checking your gear before these super important bouts? Look ladies, you have to pay attention to the maintenance of your skates. It's not your coach's job, it's not the ref's job, and it's not the vendor's job, even though they've been awesome about fixing gear. Please check your gear before you skate out; wheel loss is not acceptable! Check your nuts, yo! Seriously, it's the easiest thing to check on your skates. If you can loosen them by hand, then it is time to replace them.
2. Belts are all the rage in the midwest. I still hate them, but it seems like it works for the bigger players on some of these teams. I still say they contribute to laziness on a blocker's part, finger injuries, and the possibility of getting spun around like a helicopter, but if it's your thing, then rock the belt. Just remember, if you're slight of stature, there is a huge possibility that a bigger jammer can totally mess up your day by whipping you into oblivion.
3. There is no such thing as a "natural" grand slam. Ok announcers, please lose this phrase like Kitty LiquorBottom lost her wheel in Ohio's last game. Yes, I realize that you are trying to differentiate between actual points on the floor and ghost points, but it just annoys me. Five points is a grand slam, period. Please stop trying to fancy it up. I just can't hear Dumptruck saying "NATURAL GRRRRRRRRAND SLLLLLLLAM!" See? Try it in your head. It just sounds wrong.
4. "Passive offense" breaks jammers or sends them to the box. I know that the conga line or the bowling alley or whatever you call standing back and letting your jammers do all of the heavy lifting against a four wall or three wall gets your team points, but at what cost? How many jammers are cutting their derby careers short because they're basically slamming into an unmoving wall for up to two minutes at a time. Awesome. Plus, it's really really really really really really really really boring as hell to watch. Remember your fans? Yeah. Let's stop doing this. All of you can skate...please SKATE!
5. Sometimes rankings are just wrong. I don't know how it happened, but things got all topsy turvy during this regionals, mostly because the team ranked tenth starting kicking all the ass. Did they improve that much in the last two months? Did the Chicago Outfit and Arch Rival drastically take a nose dive? Doubtful. Brewcity shocked fans and destroyed brackets right and left this year, and that makes me question how rankings are calculated in the first place.
6. I love Windy City. There, I said it. Minnesota put up a hell of fight, but Windy City is a class act and I fell in love with them when Carolina scrimmaged them in May. Sorry ladies, but that league wins Q's crush for the year.
|Queen of the North? Queen of my heart!|