Monday, February 2, 2015

A post to all you derby divas out there. Just stop.

I know that the current societal standards have embraced the word diva to be a positive role; girls of all ages wear sparkly shirts that have the word diva on them. Yes, it's acceptable to think you're special; we all want to be special at some point in our lives, but thinking that you're above the other people on your team is unacceptable.

Diva personalities bring issues to the team, and by issues, I mean the whole subscription. If you're a diva, or just have one to deal with on your team.

Are you a diva?

1. Divas have somehow learned that when they are over emotional they get attention.  Ramp up the emotions, the attention follows, right? If you are the drama queen type of diva, really take a good look at your behavior. You want to be heard, right? That's why you're being so extravagant with your emotional outbursts, right? My question to you is, do you think people would respect you more or less if you stopped having tantrums? (Here's a hint, the answer is yes. People don't respect tantrum throwers, especially in a team sport) Take a deep breath, breathe, and lower your voice. Lowering you voice will actually give what you're about to say more gravitas. Yes, I used gravitas.

2. Divas feel like they don't have to do the scut work. Putting down the track, showing up to practice on time, and doing volunteer work are just a few chores that can be described as scut work to a diva. Guess what? Your league needs everyone to pitch in to get stuff done, otherwise nobody plays. You want to play, right? Get in there and do some work and stop waiting for someone else to do it.

3. Be confident, don't be arrogant. Arrogance is not fun to be around, but confidence is awesome. Show your team that you're confident without treading over the line of being an arrogant prick. Confidence can be shared with your teammates, which will make them better and it will make you better. Arrogance makes you be above your teammates instead of being with them, and even though you think you're awesome, you need you teammates. Nobody wins games by themselves. Not in derby.

4. Just because some jackass professional athlete is doing it, doesn't mean you should. But Q! My professional sports hero just threw a fit on the field! Look, I admire a lot of amazing athletes for their skills, their endurance, their whatever, but I don't model my athletic career after showboats. Why? Well, just because someone is talented at something, it doesn't mean they're a good role model for life. Look at how many popular musicians are out there; yes, they're talented, but they are extreme butt heads in real life, and they end up paying an entourage to tolerate them. Just because someone has a talent, you don't have to embrace everything about them.

Do you have a known diva on your team?

1. Don't ask her "What's wrong?" They live to complain about things, and asking "Oh what's wrong?" is just asking for poutrage and a complicated and long tirade about their issues. Specific questions, like "Are you excited about practice tonight?"  If he or she says no in an emotional manner, well, you have skates on for a reason. (I'm skating away!)

2. Set limits and have rules everyone needs to live up to. Don't let people be above the law in your league, because you are just feeding a diva ego. Everyone works. Everyone practices, and everyone follows the rules. If you let one person get a pass because "she's too good to bench" then everyone should expect the same pass, everyone.

3. Don't buy into the hype. Yes, people are uber talented. Yes, they might be better than everyone on the team, but you still need more than one person out there. How many people is your diva driving away? I've seen some very talented divas come and go in derby; could they have gotten better had someone been able to approach them with feedback? Hell yes. Nobody is perfect, and feedback helps everyone become better derby skaters.

We all wear helmets in derby; no crowns needed.

1 comment:

  1. "How many people is your diva driving away?"-- I often wish more teams were asking themselves this!