Friday, October 26, 2012

A letter to the entitled

Every once in a while I go on these rants in my head, and sometimes I feel like writing them down.  It's not always the best idea, but knowing derby and derby pet peeves the way I have come to know them, I'm sure I'm not alone in my thoughts and grumpiness.  Occasionally, someone really gets under my skin because they seem to think that they're above doing the simple daily things that keep a league running, or they don't show up to practice often and magically expect to make a roster.  From some of the comments I've received, the rest of you have similar issues, so I decided to write a mock letter to the entitled just to let off some steam.  No, this isn't about you, unless you're an entitled pain in the ass, then yes, it's ALLLLL about you.

Princess Pain in the Ass.
 Dear Little Miss Precious Pants:

Yes you, I see you over there sitting and getting your gear on as slow as possible, while the rest of us are laying down the track.  I know that you sauntered in ten minutes late and I know that you have to get changed, but you could come out here and help us tape down the track and THEN get the rest of your gear on.  It's possible that you think my life's ambitions are fulfilled by ripping tape and getting this rope down so we can all skate, but I do it only because I want practice to start soon.  Also, I've noticed that when you do manage to get your gear on (I know, it's so hard sometimes!) that you warm up instead of relieving one of the track crew.  Thanks for that extra bit of annoyance today.

Actually, I shouldn't be complaining that much, because you're here and skating!  What a nice surprise! I suppose if I had the same kind of spotty attendance that you have, I wouldn't want to waste my precious time taping down the track either, or working really hard on drills, or following through with endurance.  Sometimes people need to sit out of endurance due to injury or illness, but it seems like every time we do suicides, suddenly you have somewhere else to be, like Poughkeepsie or possibly a mime workshop across town.  More than likely, if I really looked, you are probably sitting at your seat texting the cure for cancer to someone very important instead of suffering with the rest of your team. I'm sure that you don't need the endurance that badly, not like the rest of us.  Also, I know it's hard to get those volunteer hours in every month, but you keep plugging at it; one of these days you will actually get them done!

Every time a roster is announced, you pout when you don't make it.  You roll your eyes at people who do, and make snarky comments.  Do you really not see the correlation between you not coming to practice on a regular basis and you not making a roster?  You really don't, do you.  I don't know whether to pat you on the head or just wish you'd go away!  The crappy thing is that I think you'd be a great player if you showed up more often than a guest star on a lame sitcom.  But, until you figure out whether you rally want to put the effort into this sport instead of concentrating on wearing your jersey in public and looking cute, then I really want you to lose your skates and forget where our practice space is.

I'm sure you're a lovely person when you're not half-assing derby.


Tongue in cheek?  Sure.....yeah...I was just kidding.  


  1. Sucks but, those girls stew in every league. Honest to I had a teammate crack the back door and take a cigarette break during the middle of practice. Took everything I had not to go ape shit on her.

    Nix Victim

  2. I <3 you for this so so so so much!