Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Don't feed the derby drama monster.

Drama.  It seems like it's unavoidable in most leagues.  Is it because derby is a drama magnet?  Probably not; most groups of people have drama involved with them.  I've been a part of plenty of organizations that have drama, not just derby.  Most likely drama happens because you get to know the people in your group TOO well, which applies directly to derby! So, how do you minimize the impact drama has on your derby experience? 

Don't let this disgusting thing mess up your league.

1.  Tart of Darkness suggested that your league do things that are drama free.  Their league gets together and plays Rock Band and goes swimming.  If your leagues are too big for that kind of get together, offer several, or do it by teams.  A couple of years ago, the Bootleggers went to the State Fair as a team; the most dramatic thing we did was compare gross fair food that we ate!

2.  Communicate face to face and not behind someone's back.  Many people gave this advice when I asked for feedback on Facebook. I know it seems scary to approach people about an emotional event in derby, but it is much better to be upfront with people than griping behind their back.  Also, if the problem is serious enough to gripe about, it should be serious enough to try to fix.

3.  Treat derby more like a casual work place and less like a family when you're at practice.  If you're at practice, you should be talking about derby, techniques, strategy and maybe aches and pains.  You shouldn't be talking about how Skater XYZ is a bitch.  Let's face it, you may not like your co-workers, but you have a common goal; treat derby that way.  You're not going to love every single human being in your league (and that is OK!), but you need to learn how to tolerate them. Also, if you have the time and energy to talk crap about your leaguemates, then you aren't working hard enough!

4.  Keep the drama off of Facebook.  Don't call each other out on Facebook!  I know it's funny to watch flame wars between members of another league, but really it's not the best place to air out your league's dirty laundry.

5.  Don't get drawn into drama.  We're all human, and we like to talk about other humans, so I understand how easy it is to get suckered into drama.  The greatest thing about derby is the fact that we have wheels on our feet; when the drama monster tries to suck you in, slowly roll away!  We're all accomplished enough at skating to manage to back away from conversations without drawing too much attention to ourselves.

6.  Miller Lightnin' suggests that if you screw up, apologize as soon as you realize it!  In her words "Crow tastes better when it's hot!"  I would rather apologize right away if I've done something wrong, but conversely, please don't be one of those guys or girls who sulk or make you wonder "did I do something wrong?"  That's just passive aggressive BS and it should stay outside of the league.  If you find yourself sulking in the corner and wanting people to tiptoe around you, either talk to someone about it, get over it, or go home for the day.  Energy is contagious, and your league doesn't need that kind of crap; be respectful, don't ruin it for everyone else.

Now of course, you're not going to be able to avoid all of the drama in derby, but you don't have to contribute to it!  Don't feed the derby drama monster!  It gets plenty of meals out of us already!

1 comment:

  1. "Crow tastes better when it's hot!" lol niceeee