After three years of meeting new people in derby, I've discovered that every league has certain recurring characters in it; here is a run down of the ten most popular and interesting characters I've met during my derby career; do you know these people? Can you recognize yourself in them?
#1 The Love Bug The Love Bug loves everyone and is the most positive person you will ever meet in derby; she surrounds herself with unicorns, smiles, hugs and actually farts rainbows. Don't underestimate the Love Bug, she will lay you out on the track, but she will smile down at you and offer you a glitter sticker after the game.
|She'll hug you and make you breakfast in the morning....|
#2 The Walking Rule Book The Walking Rule Book has studied the rules so much that she is the one that everyone in her league consults when there is a wonky call on the ref's part. This girl can quote numbers of rules! Really?
|Yes, she's based on a real person in my league.|
#3 The Fun Psycho The Fun Psycho has crazy catch phrases, never stops trying, and will never let the hopeless odds of any given game get her down. She will lead the charge every time! I love the Fun Psychos I meet in every league. They'd take on Gotham with five girls and only four pairs of skates.
|Actually quote from a fun psycho.|
#4 The Bad Psycho No league in the world wants the Bad Psycho; she might punch someone out on the other team, or throw a helmet at the refs. She is not someone you want representing your league in public or private.
|Not a fun character. Hopefully, as derby progresses, we see fewer Bad Psychos.|
|She's tricksy...keep an eye on her.|
#6 The Brainiac The Brainiac is playing derby on a different level completely; she can see complex strategies ten steps ahead, and has the vocabulary of a Samuel Beckett play. Unfortunately, she might communicate on level that most other skaters can't understand. Still, if you can fathom her vocabulary and reasoning, she will elevate your game.
|Her catch-phrase is "They're being willfully ignorant!"|
|Great skater...just completely unapproachable.|
#8 Fall Apart Bunny Fall Apart Bunny comes in three flavors, Injury Fall Apart Bunny, Emotionally Devastated Fall Apart Bunny, and Sickly Fall Apart Bunny. Once again, she's a good skater, but you can never be sure she'll be able to skate.
|What will her injury be today?|
#9 Old Skool Gotta love the Old Skool skater; she remembers when you could clockwise block, cut the track, and give the other team the finger. She's playing by the new rules, but wishes that the older game would come back, just for a little while. If you don't want to hear about the good ol' days, avoid her at after parties.
|Or buy her a drink and enjoy the stories.|
|Please hold on to the bar!|