Thursday, November 24, 2011

What you got under them fuzzy things?

A lot of you may know me as that tall, awkward player who wears the ridiculous pink furry legwarmers at Debutante Brawler games.  Even though I love my legwarmers, and thanks to people like Fairy Brutal, I have a plethora to choose from; but they do hide a dreadful secret from the world.  Yes, I wear shin guards.

I know, I know!  The shame of it all!  How could I be such a dork!  Well, I'll tell you, I love my shin guards and you can have them when you pry them off of my hot sweaty shins.

I started wearing the shin guards during my rookie year, after an unfortunate back kick I received from another league member.  When it happened, I had to crawl off of the track while trying not to scream obscenities.  I did mutter them though, and promptly got some ice on my shin.  The bruise was amazing, and developed into a negative rainbow of mostly greens and purples.

I felt ridiculous, because this ludicrous accident prevented me from skating the rest of that practice, not to mention how painful it actually was.  I sat on the mushrooms at our practice space and pondered my options.  Why hadn't I worn shin guards? I wore them without fear during soccer practice, and this sport was no less brutal.  Why did I feel so silly thinking about wearing shin guards?  After that practice, I stopped by the local sporting good store and checked out the selection of shin guards.

The really sad thing about shin guard shopping was, they were so cheap!  I could have prevented an extremely painful injury for nine dollars and change.  I almost slapped my forehead!  How much of our gear can be bought at that price point?  I finally settled on a pair of pink ones with ankle protectors, and at the next practice, I put them on and skated out to the floor.

I have bought a different pair since then, and I always wear them during scrimmage and drills.  At a recent bout, another skater fell with her knee directly on my ankle, and the paramedics informed me that the ankle protectors saved my ankle from breaking.

So, hear me now.  Have you had a bruised shin because of weird skate intrusion into your personal space?  I have seen so many fellow skaters get kicked in the shins and have horrific bruises and injuries that could have been prevented, but so many of us fight against wearing shin guards because we don't want to wear extra gear?  Really?  Some skaters have told me that they won't wear them because they're ugly.  I always say "How ugly are your shins going to be if you keep getting kicked in them?"  It's not like a shin kick is something you can train to avoid; weird falls and pile ups happen all of the time, whether you're skating as a newbie or a vet.  I personally would rather be comfortable and protected.

These are the shin guards I use now.  I get no money or endorsements from Adidas and Dick's Sporting Goods.


  1. I like my shins... I think I'm going to go invest in a pair of shin guards. :) But I might just give a pass on the fuzzy legwarmers. ;) :* mwuah!

  2. I think I will wear shin guards just so I can wear fuzzy legwarmers! Actually, I already wear shin guards. Too many lumps on my shins!

  3. The fuzzy things aren't for everyone.

  4. But punk can wear anything she wants!

  5. I started wearing shin guards after kicking MYSELF in the shins three times (baseball slides!). I still have scars as reminders. They are seriously cheap, and they work ridiculously well. Sometimes I think they should be standard equipment.

  6. Funny, it never even occurred to me to wear shin guards. But your reasoning is the same reasoning I use to wear tailbone protection- I broke mine at my FIRST practice, and it was so painful (and, it seems, so easy to do in this sport- I know several people who have injured theirs) that I bought the weird looking shorts the next day. Stupidly, I decided that they didn't really agree with the gold shorts of my uniform and so I didn't wear it during my first bout. After all, I hadn't fallen on it again in ten months of skating, right? Of course, I fell on it again that night. D'oh!