Sunday, April 6, 2014

More people you might not want to meet in derby

Sometimes people forget that derby is a sampling of humanity; we all love our leagues, or try to love our leagues, but let's just face it, not every person is lovable. It's ok to admit it; all leagues have a few people in them that don't add to the positivity of the group dynamic. Sometimes you just have to identify them and try not to get sucked into their negative orbit.

And you're old if you recognize this.

1. The Anti "Little Ray of Sunshine" This skater hates everything new, everything old, or anything that changes the status quo, even if she hates the status quo. I've actually seen people like this finally make it on a roster, and then complain about the game's location or time. Can you make this person happy? Probably not, or she's completely happy when she's complaining about everything under the sun. The best way to deal with her is say "ok" and skate out of her complaint zone.

2. The Control Freak I am firmly convinced that all derby skaters have a little control freak in them; most derby skaters are Type A personalities. We have to be, because without that drive, we wouldn't get very far in this sport. Unfortunately, there are people who take it a little too far and try to control EVERYTHING in the league, including you. The best way to deal with her is to smile and say ok, and then skate out of her control zone.

You noticing the pattern yet?

3. The Ghost  She's in your league, but she's barely at practice or any group mandatory events. She shows up once in a while, probably just to remind you that she exists, and then...poof. Gone for another month or so. Just when you think she's gone for good, poof! She's back! Don't blink though, she'll disappear again. The best way to deal with her is to ask "Where have you been for the last X amount of time?" It won't help her actually show up more, but it will give you a chance to release some of your frustrations.

4. The Emotional Mess Whoo hoo! Did you get tickets for the show? It's on for almost every practice! Seriously, she has a melt down in her personal life every practice. Her car didn't start, her boyfriend cheated on her with her girlfriend, or her boss has given her a bad review. Every day there is a new crisis! Every. Single. Day. New. Drama. The best way to deal with her is give her a hug and skate out of her meltdown zone....unless you like to watch the meltdown.

5. The Snowflake Every try to give a skater some feedback, and have that skater utterly and completely have a melt down because you're being mean? If you have been in derby for more than a year, then you know the pain of trying to give someone feedback and have them melt and get bent out of shape. The best way to deal with her is once bitten twice shy. Don't give her feedback again unless she asks for it....and then skate away.

6. The Chameleon The chameleon isn't easy to pick out, but she's one of those people who follows and blends in with whatever group happens to be dominant. If she's sitting next to someone who likes passive offense, she likes passive offense. If she's standing near someone who likes Antik skates, she's the world's biggest fan; if she's eating lunch with someone who loves Bonts, she loves them too. Once you figure out that this skater doesn't have any of her own thoughts and opinions, you'll never be fooled by her again. Always take her opinions with a grain of salt and you'll be fine.

I'm sure there are more personality types I could add to this list, but Game of Thrones was on and I got distracted.


  1. Excellent blog, as usual, Q!

  2. Another type is the conspiracy theorist. She always assumes the worst intentions from her teammates and league members. Often also the shit-starter or drama brewer, but passive aggressive types can stay behind the scenes and feed theories to their more dramatic counterparts for ammunition.

    1. hahaha true true. i find the conspiracy theorist interesting. could also be called, paranoid.