Wednesday, August 14, 2013

More Weird Derby Observations

Here are some more random observations I've noticed this season in derby. 

1.  Making line ups can be like doing a super hard version of Sudoku. I've captained and coached and I hate hate hate making line ups.  I know that most of the time those line ups fly out of the window as soon as penalty issues happen, but gah.  It's like doing some weird and convoluted word problem and I'm being made to show my work.  I think the part that bugs me is that there isn't a perfectly correct answer to the line up word problem.  It all depends on who is "hot" that day, or who is having an off day, or who is unhappy with whom.  Sometimes you have to see people on game day to see if your line ups are working and take the steps to correct them if you screwed the pooch.  If someone could create a smart app that does all of that, I'd be super stoked.  Thanks in advance!

2.  It helps to send a follow up email if you hit someone in the face at scrimmage.   Oops.  I've hit people in the face, and been hit in the face by teammates.  It just sucks on both sides, but if you're the transgressor, write a follow up email and check on your victim.   It's just the nice thing to do, and if she's got a boo boo that isn't awesome, she might appreciate you checking on her.  You don't have to send a Hallmark card, but a short email checking on her can go a long way. If you're the one who got hit in the face, well, let's hope she sends an email, or cookies.

3.  Everyone always has better and nicer new stuff than you do.  It never fails, you order what you think are the perfect wheels and then you see your teammate with some kick ass awesome wheels on that she loves...and that you didn't order.  Another thing that happens is I finally break down and buy some new pads and two weeks later, someone sends me a link to an awesome set of new gaskets that would be perfect for me.  Why does this always happen!!!  It's not like I buy gear that often!  Grawr!

4.  Every floor sucks except for the one you practice on.  Duh.  Right?  We all get used to what we are used to, and change scares us.  I've skated on wood, concrete, awesome sport court, not so awesome sport court, the sport court from hell, masonite, and outdoor asphalt.  There have been a few away games where I was ok with the floor, but I can count them on one hand.  Is it wrong of me to want to skate on a wooden floor for every game?  Probably.  Sigh.

See what I mean? 
5.  Every once in a while, the refs call players by the wrong color.  I think it's weird, but it mostly happens during games where the colors of the teams are black and white.  Personally, I attribute this phenomena to the fact that the refs are looking at the number of the player, which is usually printed in the opposite color.  So if my jersey is black, my number is most likely printed in white, and I have been called "White one two one" on a major, and I've spent a good ten seconds wondering if there is a 121 on the other team.

6.  There is always one skater on every team that takes forever to get her gear on.  It might be because she has to tape every part of her body, or because she's constantly fiddling with her skates or talking, but she's always the last to get on the floor.  The weird thing is that she always has her opposite on the team too.  This person could come in 15 minutes late and be fully geared up in a blink of an eye.  My teammate Daisy Rage can seriously transform into full derby mode in under two minutes.  I've timed her.  I think she is an Autobot.  And I hope she doesn't think I'm too weird for having timed her gearing up.  I'm not a creeper...I swear!


  1. Well, thanks to your post, I went ahead and made my lineup tracking spreadsheet public.

    It can't replace a good coach, but it can be edited in real time on a smart phone or tablet because it's in Google Drive as a template you can save and edit. Someone watching the game can even edit it real-time for a lineup tracker who is otherwise busy.