Monday, April 29, 2013

The skaters we all are....even if we don't want to be.

Nobody is perfect, and we all are annoying at some point in life and in our derby career.  I've been guilty of being "That girl" at practice some times, but for the most part, the following skater-types aren't evil....they're just really really really annoying.

1. The skater who gets distracted by any movement while being explained drills.  I am totally guilty of this.  If our practice gets split up into two drills, and we're having a discussion in ours, if I see movement going on in the other one, I totally focus on that.  I hate that I have to constantly remind myself to stay with what MY coach is saying at the time.  It's hard!  I have the "squirrel" attention span when I put on wheels.  Ugh.

2.  The skater who never has the right wheels for the bout.  This skater never reads the emails the captains send out and is always woefully unprepared for the bouting surface.   I don't mind it if it happens once or twice, but if you make it a habit, you are annoying!  Stop relying on everyone else to have your gear there.

3.  The skater who signs up for any extra thing, and then can never make it.  Is there an invitational in the area?  A pick up practice with a nearby league?   Your team is doing some bonding and playing kick ball?  This skater signs up for all the things but never can make it because she signs up for all the things in her real life too.  This is the skater who is being hung by her own good intentions; try to be realistic when you sign up for extra activities.

4.  The skater that is always late and has to be re-explained everything.  Your team is intently learning a new strategy at the beginning of practice, and after it has been explained and people have grasped it, and then "Lucy I'm Always Late" comes floating in and has to be caught up on the whole new strategy.  I know people can't always be on time for every practice, but habitual tardiness just effs up the whole vibe of practice.  Be on time, tape the track down, and do your team warm ups.  Make it happen, cap'n. 
Go ahead, you know you want to look.

5.  The skater who has problems finding the right sports bra.  There is one skater in every league who seems to have issues finding an appropriate sports bra to wear during practice.  Try as you might, you can't look away from the boobies!  It's just an awkward situation for everyone, except the skater with the brassiere fail.
6.  The new skater who keeps giving everyone advice.  Ah newbies, they're so cute and have all the enthusiasm, but sometimes they cross the line and think they're experts after a month or two of derby. Nothing is more precious, and sweet and annoying than having a newbie try to dish out advice to seasoned skater, committees or coaches.  Shh!

There are many more annoying skaters we all end up being at one point or another, and I'll do part two later this week.  If you have any suggestions, let me know.

No comments:

Post a Comment