Monday, March 18, 2013

If I had five wishes.

Today I am in a pondering kind of mood, and I'm indulging in my fantasies about what I would like to see happen in derby this year.  I know I don't have control over time and space, but I still wish certain things would be become a reality in flat track derby.  Too bad I don't have a magic wand.
Image found here.  Wanna watch a scary video about head trauma? Click here.

1.  I wish all derby skaters would get decent helmets.  I don't care which helmet you go with, Nutcase, hockey helmets, or S-1s, but please dump the Triple 8 helmets with the sweat savers.  The sweat savers do NOTHING to protect your head from impact.  Yes, they're comfortable and they deal with your sweat; but please think about your brain's safety, and look into getting a more resilient helmet.  If your helmet has taken a beating, it's time to get a new one as well.  Look into the better helmets; you get one brain, take care of it.  BTW, it's been proven that mouth guards do NOT stop concussions; they keep your teeth safe, but that's about it. 

2.  I wish all derby players would stop dragging their foot when they block.  I know this is left over from the olden days, but every skater that drags his or her foot is asking for an ACL tear or is creating a situation where someone is going to trip over that foot and screw themselves up.  Learn to use your edges and control your hits that way.  Stop using your dragging foot as a crutch!  Unfortunately, I'm starting to see this method show back up in modern derby; please stop it!

3.  I wish all skaters would pledge to leave their crappy attitudes at the door.  Please drop your inflated egos too, because skating would be more fun if people worked together instead of sniping at each other.  Everyone knows that one skater who is nice when she's not wearing skates, but as soon as she is on the track, she's complaining, bitchy and unpleasant.  Moderate your personality.  Just because you're playing derby, doesn't mean you have to be jerk.  Don't talk shit, let your hips talk shit.

4.  I wish skaters would concentrate on learning to be amazing derby players instead of being on track lawyers trying to find loopholes in the rules.  It's March and already derby peeps are trying to game the rules, and be the new masterminds of derby.  Please stop.  We all work so hard to be better skaters; we do endurance, we drill endlessly, watch footage, and train train train.  How about we all just play derby? 

5.  I wish derby skaters would stop breaking their ankles.  Lately it seems that so many skaters are breaking their ankles and needing to get surgery and excessive hardware. In fact, it's slowly becoming the number one injury in derby.  I'm not sure if it's the way we're skating now, or if we haven't been strengthening our ankles the way we should be.  After the third skater in as many months broke his ankle, I found these strengthening exercises for ankles.  I've started doing them myself and I can tell that they are definitely building my ankle strength.  You can find them here.

Somebody want to find me a genie, or a monkey's paw or something?


  1. I'm with you on the helmet and ankle issues. My girlfriend finally ditched her Triple-8 after a backwards fall startled her (she's got an Easton now), and my league has had three broken ankles already in the last six weeks (including one OPR).

    I think it's a product of the growth of the sport and its participants. In the same way that football started seeing more severe injuries as players got bigger and faster, so derby is seeing more injuries as the game gets faster. I hope your wishes come true!

  2. I've been working hard on not dragging my foot when I block. I don't know where I've picked up this habit, but it's there and it has stuck. Do you have any tips to help me out?

    1. Get Closer TO Your Target....Take That Extra Step. I DOn't Know Why My Phone Is Capitalizing Every Word....But There IT Is.

  3. Look into the better helmets; you get one brain, take care of it. BTW, it's been proven that mouth guards do NOT stop concussions; they keep your teeth safe, but that's about it.
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