1) Remember that coed bouts are purely for fun! It's safe to say that most
of the players have established leagues that are their primary derby
focus. Have fun roughing it up with friends you don't normally get to
play with - frenemies, refs, coaches, players, mentors, crushes... and
make it a learning experience!
2) Be competitive, but keep things in perspective. Bragging rights are about the only thing at stake.
3) Don't be a jerk. Coed bouts often have very new players and a variety of sizes. Use control and don't obliterate someone unnecessarily just because you can. Realize that newer players are probably going to be all arms and legs, even experienced players may get sloppy in all the excitement. It's derby. Let it go.
4) Don't be sexist.
Girls - you agreed to play a coed bout. Men are going to hit you! They may even hit you hard! Don't assume they are being jerks just because they are men. When another female player high or low blocks you or really cleans your clock do you automatically assume they did it on purpose to be a jerk? Do men deserve to be held to a different standard or punished more harshly because they hit a woman who agreed to play coed derby? No. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Play hard, don't be a bitch, play clean and be respectful. Don't whine about being treated as an equal or even a threat.
Guys - you also agreed to play a coed bout. Some players think you should "hold back" on women. I think that's crap. Don't insult me by playing down to me because I'm a female. I have advantages you don't. (There is more than one guy out there taller and heavier than me who has crumbled like a paper bag with a perfectly played hip swipe to the thigh). And there are women of all sizes, including some who hit harder than men. Bring it on. But refer to rules 1, 2, and 3. Use this chance to work on positional blocking and hip checks. Try new things. I've heard some guys say they will only hit a girl as hard as she hits him. Fair enough. Play hard, don't be a dick, play clean and be respectful. Treat the women as equals.
5) Let the refs do their jobs! There seem to be a lot of knights in shining armor in coed derby, although I can't find that position in any of the rule sets. Hockey has enforcers, not derby. Just because a man lays a hard hit on a woman does not mean it was an illegal hit. If it was illegal it probably wasn't intentional. If it was intentional it is still NO different than if a female had done it. Let the officials handle the situation! That's what they're around for! It's not your job "as a man" to go off rescuing or defending us. If you respond in an aggressive manner, or worse escalate the violence, you just look like an ass. You embarrass yourself, your coed team, your primary league, and derby as a whole. And that notion that the men have to defend us womenfolk just smacks of sexism. Would you show your ass if it was a girl on girl incident? Probably not. Keep yourself together. If you can't handle that, don't play coed derby.
****COUPLES! If you can't handle
seeing your significant other be hit by players of the opposite sex,
don't play coed derby!
6) Leave it on the track. Make nice. Show good sportsmanship. If you can't be nice in the high five line, don't get in it. If you can't be polite at the after party, avoid whomever you need to or just don't come. Always remember that you are an ambassador for your league and for derby and behave accordingly.
I love playing coed derby. I've learned so much from playing with and against men. I feel a million times more in tune with my "Balls" as a coach because I've gotten to play with them. I think everyone should try coed at least once!
2) Be competitive, but keep things in perspective. Bragging rights are about the only thing at stake.
3) Don't be a jerk. Coed bouts often have very new players and a variety of sizes. Use control and don't obliterate someone unnecessarily just because you can. Realize that newer players are probably going to be all arms and legs, even experienced players may get sloppy in all the excitement. It's derby. Let it go.
4) Don't be sexist.
Girls - you agreed to play a coed bout. Men are going to hit you! They may even hit you hard! Don't assume they are being jerks just because they are men. When another female player high or low blocks you or really cleans your clock do you automatically assume they did it on purpose to be a jerk? Do men deserve to be held to a different standard or punished more harshly because they hit a woman who agreed to play coed derby? No. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Play hard, don't be a bitch, play clean and be respectful. Don't whine about being treated as an equal or even a threat.
Guys - you also agreed to play a coed bout. Some players think you should "hold back" on women. I think that's crap. Don't insult me by playing down to me because I'm a female. I have advantages you don't. (There is more than one guy out there taller and heavier than me who has crumbled like a paper bag with a perfectly played hip swipe to the thigh). And there are women of all sizes, including some who hit harder than men. Bring it on. But refer to rules 1, 2, and 3. Use this chance to work on positional blocking and hip checks. Try new things. I've heard some guys say they will only hit a girl as hard as she hits him. Fair enough. Play hard, don't be a dick, play clean and be respectful. Treat the women as equals.
5) Let the refs do their jobs! There seem to be a lot of knights in shining armor in coed derby, although I can't find that position in any of the rule sets. Hockey has enforcers, not derby. Just because a man lays a hard hit on a woman does not mean it was an illegal hit. If it was illegal it probably wasn't intentional. If it was intentional it is still NO different than if a female had done it. Let the officials handle the situation! That's what they're around for! It's not your job "as a man" to go off rescuing or defending us. If you respond in an aggressive manner, or worse escalate the violence, you just look like an ass. You embarrass yourself, your coed team, your primary league, and derby as a whole. And that notion that the men have to defend us womenfolk just smacks of sexism. Would you show your ass if it was a girl on girl incident? Probably not. Keep yourself together. If you can't handle that, don't play coed derby.
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| Photos by Phil Lackey. creativeimage@ftc-i.net |
6) Leave it on the track. Make nice. Show good sportsmanship. If you can't be nice in the high five line, don't get in it. If you can't be polite at the after party, avoid whomever you need to or just don't come. Always remember that you are an ambassador for your league and for derby and behave accordingly.
I love playing coed derby. I've learned so much from playing with and against men. I feel a million times more in tune with my "Balls" as a coach because I've gotten to play with them. I think everyone should try coed at least once!
