1. Sore winners. Whaaaaaaaat? Are you kidding? I've seen teams that are ahead by 100-150 points and they are exhibiting behaviors like screaming at the refs, or flipping out at their teammates. I often wonder if some people just can't enjoy a win. When I see a team melting down during a crushing win, I start cheering even harder for the underdog. This is one of those things I think should GTFO of derby! Please don't explain why this happens, just make it go away.
2. People who care about what color their wheels are. Uh....maybe this is a leftover from when women are trained to match their handbag to their shoes, but I couldn't care less what color my wheels are. I could be skating on purple, blue, green or orange wheels, depending on the surface conditions I'm skating on at the time. I've heard people say they only buy pink wheels, or they won't buy pink wheels, or ugh! Pink wheels! Who cares? If the wheels I like only come in pink, I'm buying them. Weirder yet are the people who take the time to dye their wheels! Every once in a while I see posts on Facebook about dyeing wheels, and how awesome it makes them look. I'd rather be spending my time cleaning my bearings than dyeing my wheels, but whatever works for you ladies and gentlemen! If you have time to explain this to me, I'd love to hear the reasons why you care.
3. Why every ref does equipment check completely differently. Just recently, I played in five challenge bouts at ECDX, and every ref checked equipment in a different way. I don't mean that they did it in a different order, it was a completely different inspection each and every time! I guess it wouldn't baffle me so much if a couple of the refs didn't seem so angry that we weren't sure how they wanted to check out gear. "Arms up first!" Sorry dude and dudette, the last three refs didn't want our arms up at all. Also, slightly unrelated, but still a part of equipment check, why do our helmet straps come loose constantly? I always have to tighten mine after inspection, and sometimes that means the day after inspection!
4. Women that skate half naked. We've all seen them on the track, women like Holly Wanna Crackya, Vicious Van Go Go and Holden Grudges. They are awesome skaters with smokin' bodies, but I'd still want to have more coverage in case I fall down. Rink rash doesn't care how pretty you are, it loves to feed on skin. But, I don't condemn the urge to skate that way, I just wonder about it.
5. Skaters who don't care if their wheels or bearings are making noises. This one might belong to the "Q is crazy and hates hearing her wheels" category, but if I'm hearing a squeaky bearing or a strange noise from my wheels, I instantly wonder if my bearing is seizing up. Trust me, before the next time I skate, I will have investigated the reason for the noise. I think that some skaters follow the philosophy of "If I ignore it, eventually it will go away" and never look into it.
6. Don't Stop Believing. Why? WHY!? Why is Journey such a staple in derby? Please explain it to me with using phrases like "It's awesome!" I often wonder why derby girls have the same musical tastes as a middle school dance in the 80s.
7. You people are still smoking? Damn. I was really baffled by that at ECDX this year. It seemed like 40% of the ECDX population was outside smoking between games. This needs to GTFO of derby, because that is just STUPID. Stop smoking! You play a sport! You need your lungs! The thing that floors me about this situation is that you all know it is killing you, but you do it anyway! STOP IT! Don't explain this to me either, just stop.
And just for fun and unrelated....another derby card.
|Now, this one I can totally explain.|